hope abides...

the game changer-

2011-04-01T08:29:00.001-07:00

I just love it when I hear people say "all I know is what the Bible says."

This is usually said by 'church people,' and by folk who generally don't know a ton about the scriptures and seem to remember selective things from Sunday School such as:
Homo's go to hell
The Bible says only men can be pastors, elders and deacons
Worship is to be this way, or that...
Well, when all the good people get raptured and go to Heaven...
etc.

...and that, of course, is what the Bible says. Very black and white - easy for the righteous to swallow and difficult for anyone outside 'the club' to understand.

What strikes me, is that the apostle Paul (writer of most of the latter part of the Bible), when writing to a church who is growing, learning and dealing with it's own divisions and issues, he says "I resolved to know nothing while I was with you but Christ, and him crucified."

Paul does not appeal to tradition, to the old law, or to what he remembers being taught as a child in synagogue! No, he appeals to the living Truth, the person of Jesus. To the one who saw the world as very black and white, but in a very different way. The way of moving in Him, towards truth and sincere faith, offering grace. Or, the way of the empire - exclusive, graceless, disquieting, co-opting, controlling.

Although life is not always so simple and often confusing - it may seem much safer for many of us to cling to hard and fast rules and try hard to appear on the good side of such rules, but Jesus calls us to something different. To a relationship with the Living God. Something much more difficult to trust in, to move with, to respond to.

But Paul says it plainly - I claim to follow the living Truth, Jesus, not simply a written law.

..that is much harder - but how much richer the life in that way, the way of Jesus.

2011-03-30T07:57:00.001-07:00

Recently we spent a weekend up north with some friends. Getting away from the daily grind of life was so good and waking up next to a beautiful northern lake always gives one perspective.
Later on, during conversation with our friends we mentioned that if we had the whole house buying process thing to do over again - we'd do it totally differently. Get a different house, in a different place, probably older, more character etc. Well, it turns out our friends said they often thought similar things, only the antithesis: about a house, newer, easier to keep up etc.

Paul, the dude responsible for the a good part of the Bible, wrote about being content. In a strange land full of conservative, dutch, "church-people," this can be tough to do.

We are currently going through a daily mediation series for Lent. It talks about the desert and wondering why God brought us here and how our pain and discouragement works with him being a loving God and all that.

I don't know if I have any great insights yet, but I know we'll come through this and in the process; maybe even be excited to live in our current home.

-

2010-12-02T11:49:00.000-08:00

"Our task in the present - is to live as resurrection people in between Easter and the final day, with our Christian life, corporate and individual, in both worship and mission, as a sign of the first and a foretaste of the second."

N.T. Wright, Surprised by Hope

the "both/and's" of our faith

2010-11-23T13:16:00.000-08:00

As I was clicking around YouTube today I ran across a few videos and conversations that really got me thinking, or more reminded me of the constant tension we live in as followers of Jesus.

When someone makes the decision to follow a certain way of life out of a relational, love commitment - things often become clearer... as well as more gray than they used to be. I am very leery of folks who make the commitment to follow Jesus and then suddenly have all the answers, an established world-view and a well rehearsed apologetic to counter any argument thrown their way. Those are the folks to who scare me, especially when given leadership roles in churches.

Speaking of church leadership - back to the instantly accessible worldly-wisdom of Youtube...
I saw something with John MacArthur and Emergent Church in the title, so I clicked and listened. Now, I don't claim to know much of anything about this MacArthur cat, but I recall he is in California at a very large (conservative, IIRC) church. The audio clip had a radio host playing a Brian MacLaren sound-bite for MacArthur to respond to.
and then it got interesting.

[sidenote: what a great cagematch this would be! The epic battle of the "Mac"s. I can see it now in lights: The tall, comb-over conservative taking on the short, bald, theological southpaw]

In the short (and un-contextualized) sound-bite offered, MacLaren addresses the fact that many Christians (especially those arguing over the primacy of Christ and heaven/hell etc.) believe that "the primary purpose of Jesus, the primary message of Christ was about how to get to heaven."
At that point the radio host stops the recording and MacArthur (obviously ruffled and coming out swinging) exclaims that "yes," Jesus did come to get us to heaven and to escape hell - not to end slavery, fix daily life etc. But, to save us from eternal damnation!

Here is where I again took mouse in hand and paused the video. A few things really stood out to me.
a. Here is an educated, intelligent man taking a brief recording of another - out of context - and ripping it apart without even offering some thought to why MacLaren might have said what he said.
b. How twisted is it when we start picking public fights with other believers in order to promote our own agenda in the name of "revealing the 'truth' about Jesus?"
c. How small of a box have many Christians put Christ in? And in the same vain, how central a role have we been duped into thinking that we play in what God does, why and when?

Please do not read on thinking that I am simply backing ol' Brian MacLaren on this and throwing stones at "the man" or established, westernized, evangelical "church" - I am doing neither. But I do this simply to bring out some perspectives on the who's and why's of Jesus.

Listening to MacLaren, it is inferred that Christ came for much more than simply to show us how to get to heaven and bring news of eternal salvation. Christ also came to defeat evil, to triumph over systemic sin. To bring a holistic redemption that speaks to ever fallen and sinful thing.

With big sin comes the need for a big redemption... unless of course we as humans are at the center of the story. (how American of us to think that:)

Here is where the "both/and" comes in, and the answer is "yes."
Yes, we are central to the story - we as humanity are so dearly loved (collectively and individually) by God. He saw our plight and longed for relationship with us and thusly sent Jesus to bridge that gap and bring us to him, and for that relationship to be eternal.

But-

like good Americans, we have taken some things to far, both as individuals and especially as churches and denominations.

It seems to me that over the last couple generations many well intentioned Christians and churches have lost a sense of the larger story of God. I continue to meet many good and sincere people who cling to the idea of the Scriptures as a collection of rules to live by and selected verses used for apologetics and proof-texting. A person's decision to believe in Jesus and His death on the cross for our sins has become the primary focus. And as MacArthur illustrated via Youtube, the Penal Substitution metaphor of the atonement seems to have filled to the scope of our understanding of Jesus, His mission and message.

The short answer remains "yes" and "yes." Christ came both for the salvation of humanity, but also to bring the Kingdom of God that ushers in a redemption that speaks to the far reaches of sin, brokenness and pain in our world; from the simplest white lie to the twisted and complex systems that all too often hold power in the world.

God is a big god and the more I seek to understand and listen to him - the more I realize my smallness and that He has room in his grace and plan for the "both/and."

Ex-thoughts?

2010-11-21T13:31:00.000-08:00

So... if you happened to spot an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend when out and about one day, would you rather them be:

a. Hott, confident and looking better than ever

or...

b. Fat and ugly

?

As I pondered this (clearly I have too much time on my hands), I was unsure. If they we're lookin good, you could always smile and say "ah, yeah, I was with that." Or, if the spotted from a distance ex had really let themselves go, you can always say - "man, glad I got outta that, totally made the right choice."

Either way you end up feeling pretty good about having spotted a piece of your romantic history. But, I wonder what it says about someone if they answer in one of the two above ways? or what if they respond to the sighting with something new?

Who knows.... Moral of the story - just don't think too much.

Greenburg

2010-09-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

I am not sure when it become cool, marketable, or even OK to simply film regular seeming folks doing regular boring things - put some Emo-meets-NapoleonDynamite music in the background and call it a MOVIE!!!

I recently wasted about one and a half hours of my life (which I will never get back) trying to draw some sort of plot, meaning and enjoyment from the convoluted, everyday cluster-F that was the film "Greenburg." It starred Ben Stiller who must be going through some sort of mid-live/mid-career crisis and trying to connect with the everyday moron. Seriously, some actors stoop far too low at times in their careers (Bruce Willis "Armageddon," or Liam Neesson in "Clash of the Titans") , but that is no excuse - some films should never be stuck in a Redbox!

and then there is Redbox... it is a great invention, but when they are out of movies that you would like to see - how is a guy supposed to psyche himself up to go drop $4+ at Blockbuster!

What is this world coming to?

Netflix I guess...

Musings on W. Mitten

2010-08-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

So, over the past few weeks, we have moved from Denver to Holland/Zeeland, Michigan. We really love being here, but it is definitely an adjustment.

First of all... clouds. I have rarely seen a cloud for the past 2 years, and if I did, it was whispy and white and quite high up in the sky. The other day I awoke and figured it must have been early dawn, 5am or something... nope.... it was 9:30am and there were clouds!

Secondly, people here drive wwwwaaaaayyyyyyy too fast!! I have had more cars (especially Grand Cherokees for some reason (usually piloted by 17yr. old blonde girls from Zeeland or Hudsonville, on a cell phone)) riding my bumper than ever before. Granted, I am not the most aggressive accelerator in the world, but I get up to speed and enjoy cruising about 4mph over the posted limit. But, noooo... that is not going to cut it around here - people are in a big ol' hurry to get all over W. Michigan these days.

Lay-off buddy!!

Thirdly... "fancy-ness"
Maybe it was because I felt right at home in the rather casual dress culture of Denver, or maybe I don't see a huge difference in what clothes can do for a person(Ugly is still ugly and good look-ers, usually look good). I am all for dressing for the occasion, but I had no idea that Panera, JP's coffee, modern churches and the grocery store were "occasions." These ladies are poofing, teasing, and bumpin' thier blonde up to go work out!
I miss the land of baseball caps, Patagonia pull-overs and pony-tails.
:(

Beer prices!
Not sure why, maybe it is the relative lack of craft/micro brew options that make even the most mundane of bottled barley juice so pricey, but lets be serious, anything with the word "bud" in the name (wheat, lime or otherwise) should not go for over a buck-a-bottle... ever!

But, New Holland, Bells and the Old Hat brews are quite local and amazing good. So I can't complain too loudly.

And speaking of complaining, this entry is not a complaint at all - I love living here and would do it again in a heart-beat. W. Michigan, with all it's idiosyncrasies and leadfooters, is amazing.

I call it home...

vacation-

2010-07-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

So, for the past two weeks Allie and I have been on "vacation" in Michigan. We spent some time visiting my parents and brother Andrew in Saline/Manchester/Ann Arbor area. We had a great time relaxing and catching up on family details and our deep conversations. From there we trekked West for the nuptials of our great friends Seth and Molly Weener! It was a great time seeing friends and celebrating with an awesome couple.

We got a chance to have a Farewell to Mark's Thyroid party - speaking of that... He recently began recovering from kicking cancer's a$$ yesterday in the hospital. (well done buddy).

Now, we reside outside the peaceful hamlet of Lawton, MI with Allie's great parents.

I have had a lot of time to think lately of what a "vacation" is meant to be. Webster designates it as " respite or a time of respite from something" and/or ": a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation."

So, I ask myself, "am I really on vacation?"

Respite is good. I have been getting more sleep and doing more sitting around than usual. But, my spirit does not feel at rest. We are spending time away from out home in Denver, but it is also at "home;" in the places where we grew up and with good, longtime friends. So, that definition may not apply to us.

Let's look at "a period spend away from business." Well, I have been away from 'business' since July 1, when I finished at Hope Church. I must say that dealing with being unemployed (by choice) is more difficult than I had anticipated. I truly sympathize with anyone who has found themselves in this place with no secure end in sight. Sometimes I sing a song in the shower for some encouragement: (just hear the music, think old Bud Light jingle)

Real jobless heroes-
Here's to you - O' 13% of Americans!
To you who find yourself with little to do...
and dwindling reserves of motivation...
I salute you - real jobless heroes!

Anyway, sorry for the tangent. But, I think that I believed that having a short respite from employment would give me pause to think, reflect, and check a few things off long-ignored 'to-do' lists. Eh' maybe I'll get to that point but, I feel that might be a long time coming. Or, might have to happen once we get settled into a new rhythm that includes a job for this cat.

I am realizing that life is often best lived in the midst of... well... life.

Just a few thoughts on a stormy afternoon in W. Michigan.

on transition...

2010-06-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

So, a week from today marks my final Sunday on staff at Hope Community Church.
Many people have asked how I am feeling about it all, to them I usually give a variety of answers. I don't want to seem ambiguous about my emotions, but in all honesty, my emotions seem to be changing with every passing hour at times. There are a ton of folks who I will miss dearly from Hope. I would like to think that "of course, I'll see them again," but the truth is, it might be very difficult to do so. I have a mixture of excitement and sadness. Part of me is a little anxious to be stepping out of a secure job and constant paycheck and into something relatively unknown (especially long-term). But, I do believe that God will provide and truly does have bigger plans for my life than I can imagine. This is sometimes hard to see, let alone feel, but that adds to the excitement of it all. All in all, I could not be more thankful for Hope and the way I have been able to serve, grow and learn while being there.

Farewell...

2010-01-26T17:29:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow a good friend takes off on a plane for half way around the world... No cell phone, no suitcase, and no set schedule accompany this man - only freedom.

Tomorrow my wife also leaves for the day. She goes off to a job she loves and in a career that she is committed to joyfully because of what she brings to others, and the gift that serving them is to her. Although cell phone, papers, and work bag go along with her... so does a distinct freedom.

What must a man do to be 'free' if it seems like freedom means two nearly diametrically opposed things?

Hopefully the blog entries that follow might offer me (and you) some clarity on these questions.
I just hope that it is not another 6 months before my next post.

Reflections on BBQ and Brimstone...

2009-08-24T09:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was sitting under the tracks of the MindEraser at Elitch Gardens, and with the noise of joyfully screaming youngsters in the background - I posed a question to my friend Sean.

I asked what his thoughts on experiencing God in worship were recently.

Among his answers (very insightful and honest), he noted that part of his time in worship is spent simply asking the question: "am I living the way I should be?"

I made a mental note about how it struck me when Sean said this simple line. I began to realize that so often I over-think worship and how we are to encounter the living God. I often think of reflection of Sean's nature as regulatory, guilt-filled and legalistic. But really, is there anything that can lead more to freedom and peace than tossing all of ones life before God and letting him pick through it and gently let me know what is good for me and what is not?

I realize that this is much easier said than done. I feel that most folks don't need someone to tell them that they have done things that are wrong, but instead someone to create a space for them to process their life and decisions - good and bad. I also found something so simple, deep and beautiful about Sean's insight, and even with the antiquated, evangelical images that this notion conjured up in my mind.

I realize that there have been many wounds and misconceptions doled out by the traditional, "are you livin' right with God?," preacher. But, there is a beauty in simply reflecting on a daily basis on such questions:

Am I living/loving like Jesus?
Am I giving all I can to the poor and those in need?
Am I giving my heart to my wife, kids, or friends as much as I should?
Where do my daily priorities fall?

Quite often I feel I could be quite satisfied and fulfilled singing a few hymns and hearing a simple message at a quaint country church, shooting the breeze and asking the above questions with good friends over a beer and BBQ that afternoon.

In theory and practice, is post-post-modern synonymous with post simplicity?

Playing Duck, Duck, Damned...?

2009-06-11T09:59:00.000-07:00

I had to chuckle when I heard an author speak of door to door type evangelism as a big game of "Duck, Duck, Damned." :)

There have been a ton of thoughts and ideas running through my mind as of late about how we do things like: evangelize, talk about Jesus, and "make disciples of all nations."' My gut instinct is usually to wince when someone is talking about "going out to evangelize." I begin to wonder who will be ducked and who might be intelligent enough to be "damned?"

I have been reading a book that is focusing on the "Reformission" of the church. How can we connect with people, our culture and share the shalom of Christ, in a way that makes sense to unchurched and de-churched immersed in today's culture. During my reading of this book and simply trying to live this way vocationally and personally - two ideas have really stood out thus far.

The first one I wrote about in a blog for Hope Community Church (hopesatellite.blogspot.com) on 6/9/09. Acts 17 finds Paul in the city of Athens - speaking with the philosophers and thinkers of the day. Sidenote: what a life to live in ancient Athens and just sit around and talk philosophy, religion and though - all day! Anyway, this is who Paul is summoned to talk with - and he just starts telling stories about Jesus. I can only imagine the freshness that the stories of Christ brought in comparison with the Grecco-Roman gods. The ideas of wholistic - life changing faith and practice. Good news for the poor, inclusion of the lame and feeble minded and a concept of caring, creator God who wants to interact with humanity. Thinking of the culture in that setting - these ideas where very unique. My argument is that Paul was sharing this in an obviously pre-Christian culture, and that our audience is very similar in out post-Christian culture. Even Athens seems to be so parallel to the worlds that many of us live in, with an interest in personal spirituality, the arts, expression, love and character.

It seems that so many folks in the church today see that type of culture as hostile to the Gospel, and yet I believe it is more primed than ever. When we, like Paul, simply talk about Jesus for what He is, with no connection to the convoluted Americanized, materialized, politicized marketing scheme of past decades, our culture is aching for something/someone like Jesus.

The second idea that stood out to me over the past week or reading on Reformission - is that we often see our progression of "evangelism" in a false light. Traditionally we (in all of our foresight and genius) essentially tell people: "believe in Jesus and then join a church." There are more holes in this approach then there is time here to discuss them. But, I think we have it flipped...

People should be able to relationally and experientially join a faith community and be loved for who they are (not for their "ministry potential") first - and that would be their starting point for a journey of conversion. But the question remains - are we the type of faith community in which this is our practice and all people feel welcomed and loved?

-Whether it is realized or not, all mankind bears the image of the creator God...

The Jesus Movement...

2009-04-28T10:56:00.001-07:00

When I was growing up I could often hear my parents and other adults talk about their time as college and young people during the "Jesus Movement." I was never quite sure what that meant and wondered at times "isn't Jesus moving now?"

Looking back at what I associated with that "Jesus Movement" in my youth might be quite accurate to the times of said movement. I see long-haired folks wearing tye-dyed clothing spreading the word about this radical Jesus who loved EVERYONE and lived in poverty, stood up to the government and could be worshiped anywhere and at anytime. I envision groups of these young people driving cross country tossing LPs of "Godspell" out the window's like Frisbees :) They walked, drove, pedaled and hitchhiked all around the US. It seems like everyone who was part of that "movement" in those days was heading somewhere, and doing so with a purpose.

But back to the earlier question - isn't Jesus moving now? He is, but are his people?

A few days ago I asked a group of young teenagers a question: "So, you're a 'Christian'... now what?"

I was met with blank stares. So, I rephrased the question a few different ways in hopes of eliciting at least a throat clearing, or any possible sign that wheels were turning..... nothing.

I got to thinking later that night that we can spend so much time and energy thinking of "conversion" as an event rather than a process.

A process is something we walk through, it takes time,

movement,

action,

joining with others.

Considering that Christ is alive and moving, and our faith is a process of learning, changing, growing and joining in the work of Jesus in our context - have we any faith?
Or, do we have faith that - at one point - we met Jesus?

Could we have shown up to our wedding ceremony and not stepped into the marriage the next day?

Our conversion journey is indeed our personal "Jesus Movement", but the movement is also intrinsically communal. Moving with Jesus is a motion that naturally community oriented because one is not focused on self, but the love and restoration of others. And it is this devotion to those in need that defines the "Jesus Movement," it is loving those around us so much that the aura of Christ permeates our interactions and thus changes out action from selfish to self-sacrificing.

Our journey is one of motion and risk - one that leads us to move into the places of hurt and oppression in our world. The orphanage, the developing world, the shelter or our good friend's heart...

Personal or Global ??

2009-04-21T21:29:00.001-07:00

The question is often posed most by young kids: "How can God love me and have the whole world in his hands?"

This question is not always asked by churches and people today, but it seems it had to have been asked because many people, preachers and congregations seem to have made up their minds on the issue and decided that God either loves them a lot, or His love has/is redeeming the world - rarely both.

If one but takes a survey of many different churches and preaching approaches in today's culture - I think two major trends emerge.

1: Jesus is my personal savior - he came to die for my sins and had I been the only sinner, he would have come anyway.

2: Our call as Christians is to save the world, plant and save trees, free slaves, fight the system and find "community."

Now, both of these approaches are right, biblical, and not mutually exclusive (I sure hope). But, I think it is rare to find a faith community that holds both common ways in a healthy tension. Often many older and established evangelical congregations seem to lean toward option 1 - personal savior and God, while many new "emergent" churches seem to lean toward approach number 2.

From discussions with folks who have been in ministry for much longer than I, it seems that the more "conservative" and personal savior approach seems to stem from a reaction by many churches (and denominations) in the 1950s/60s to the "Social Gospel" movement. They, in an attempt to hold dear and "conserve" the truth of their doctrine and the Gospel - swung the pendulum in one distinct direction...maybe further than they even wanted.

So, is the recent trend in churches toward social action just another sort of reaction to a reaction?

I don't necessarily think so.

One must take into account the woundedness of our current generation of young people and emerging leaders. Many of these wounds have been inflicted (intentionally or not) by "the church," or people connected with a Christian body. For some of us, one has only mention the words "Focus on the Family" to bring a twinge to many of our insides and almost a sick feeling. Had Dobson continued to focus only on the family and stayed out of the political realm and thus, a condemning realm - I think we could utter that organizations title with good conscience. But, that is not the case and for many people that approach faith a bit differently from the good doctor, it may seem a bit more difficult to associate with folks who call themselves 'Christians."

We also must take into account the fears and suspicions of the older generation of Christians and church leaders. The important questions need to change from things like "Is Rob Bell a heretic?" to how can I love and connect with this new generation of folks who also love Jesus. Is our faith in Christ so small that we don't believe the Truth will rise to the surface when Christ is studied and pursued in the given conversation?? Shall they seek and not find? Change is a hard thing, and in many contexts, takes time and understanding.

Regardless of where you are coming from on any of this - we must let Christ be the center and heart of what we do. Christ has a heart for the poor, marginalized and the oppressed. Yet, (though not trendy) also weeps for the wealthy to realize him as lord. Jesus came to pay for all of our sins and reconcile us all to him for eternity - He yearns for personal relationship. In the same way (Col. 1:15-19) He has, and is redeeming all things - and all creation is thus longing for his return! Our personal and abiding relationship with Christ is the context through which we see and know how we are to be carrying out the mission of Jesus in our world.

Our answers and future unity as a church are found in the words and life of Jesus. Understanding his culture, his traditions and heart we see that he is full of Grace and also Truth - limitless mercy and a persistent desire to be in relationship with everyone. He is about working within ones given context and culture and yet about standing up to and abolishing systems and ways of life that (although common, huge and culturally entrenched) keep his beloved people from him.

We don't have to choose pipe organs, tradition and "evangelism," over trees, free-trade coffee and Bono - but realize there is a more holistic approach to our faith journey. We're all on a journey of conversion, it doesn't have to be one way or the other!

For the fullness and image of God is in Christ and we are to let His joy be in us - for the God of the universe has called us to be a part of his pulling of heaven and earth back together, mending broken lives and walking daily with Christ - let this then be our focus no matter the age, worship approach or style of dress.

for the poor saps out there...

2008-11-25T14:36:00.000-08:00

Part of my day today was spent at the outlet stores in Castle Rock, CO. A great place to get ones Christmas shopping done with some great sales in a pretty scenic location. First, we hit the Columbia outlet store. With Columbia really picking up the slack on their production of technical outdoor clothing over the past few years, this can be a great place to pick up a few needed pieces. We cruised through there for about 15 minutes - time well spent.

But then IT hit me...

I have a chronic, recurring case of Male Shopping Sickness. After about 20 minutes of shopping or 20 seconds at selected retailers (BBB, B&BW, GAP, OLD NAVY...) my head begins to feel heavy, legs weak, attention span = zero, giant yawns begin to overtake my face, and a quiet contempt begins to form for the wide spread commercialism that over takes our society.

I understand that people need to be clothed, and that one might as well enjoy putting together a unique, self-expressive outfit, but lets get serious people...is all of this really necessary? American Eagle has been trying to sell me the exact same blue and white, checkered button down shirt for over a decade!! The only thing that changes is now the shirt may be fetching them 200% profit, as opposed to the humble 175% earnings of the 1990's. Although that may be a bit of an inflated figure, such cheaply made clothing should not fetch such a price. It makes me want to open a mall kiosk down at Park Meadows where I sell sacks of dog crap for $50.00 because a pooch named "Hollister" put out a seasonal limited batch!

Maybe I am overreacting, but something inside of me does not sit right in the aforementioned situations. I realize, I too am part of the problem here, but long to be part of the solution.
Maybe next Christmas I'll buy everyone shares in a third world mirco-finance lending company, or send goats named Steve, Andrew, and Peter to families in Indonesia.

Sent from my iPhone ;)

a view from the right lane...

2008-11-16T22:07:00.001-08:00

A few days ago I made a solo trip into the mountains to ski the first turns of the season. Allison was using our Outback to run around town during the day, but I was blessed enough to be able to borrow a friends car for the journey - hence this entry's title. This valiant little 91' Honda 4-banger gave its all for me that day. When the hills up, so did theRPMs , turning quickly to a slight "I think I can..." rhythm. Nonetheless, we made it through the tunnel, down the hill and to the parking lot of Copper Mountain. I apprehensively pulled on my boots and slung the planks over my shoulder in hopes that my first run on my newACL will be successful with no rips, tears, pangs, aches, breaks or falters. It was. The feeling of getting up on those edges and having a 3 minute, non-stop run was awesome.

The trip was a day off. I needed a day of rest and time to connect with God before taking 10 rowdy teens to a weekend conference. What I found in the mountains was a mixed bag. As I drove I tried to concentrate on thoughts of God creating and dwelling in my high altitude surroundings, but I was still quite distractable. I attempted praying aloud, then singing and then sitting in silence and reflecting on my blessings, not much came of it. I found myself to be relatively unemotional about about it all. I did though feel a deep peace and was able to sit back and fully enjoy the freedom of the mountains and the joy of racing down the hill withsome Caedmons on the iPod.

Later the next day I had a conversation with a friend during a break in aforementioned high energy youth conference. During this conversation we reflected on the emotional highs of our teenage years and how our encounters with God consistenly seemed life changing and always emotionally charged. In all reality, I realize that a small part of these emotional highs probably had something to do with raging armies of hormones, social and personal insecuritues and a touch personal pride. But, I also know that many of my experiences during that time were indeed life changing, extremely formative, and highly engaging. That time in life was tumultuous, but it was so real and beautiful. It is the sheer beauty of a young teen, eyes closed, hands raised, raptured in the song and the moment - what he is experiencing is something that I am afraid we nearly loose in some ways as we mature. That is sad. Don't get me wrong, life is still full of joy, passion, pain and spiritual experiences, but there is something that is not quite the same as the crazy teen years. I would never want to go back there, but I do feel that we have a bit to learn from the reckless abandonment of these beautiful young people.
- I do know that when I am up in the mountains skiing, I can find a bit of what was lost...

On Contentment...

2008-11-11T10:00:00.001-08:00

"Yo Soy Contento" I remember uttering these words in Spanish class years ago. I knew what they meant, yet i never realized how hard they might be to live by. Living a lifestyle of contentment is much easier in theory than in practice.

Let's be serious...I want for nothing. I live in a great neighborhood, in a great city, have an amazing wife, plenty of food, a great job, good friends, solid car and even a few bucks for modest toys and weekend getaways. And yet, something always creeps in. It can be found in the craigslist browser saved on my desktop, on layaway at REI, in the new gadget that I am sure will help me work faster and more efficiently, it is in the back of my mind when I need to be focusing on what matters much more than fatter skis, faster handheld wireless, better gas mileage, higher waterproofing and less weight. There must be a way out of this cycle. How did Paul learn to be content with what he had? Is there some transcendent purpose that I am missing here?
Well, I wish to write more, but my SteepandCheap pop-up browser just alerted me to a new piece of absolutely necessary outdoor gear...

Beginnings-

2008-11-05T21:25:00.000-08:00

Well, part of me feels like I am jumping on a band wagon with this whole "blog" thing, but I also really like the idea, even if no one ever reads my ramblings.

I have had a bunch of new beginnings in my life over the past few months, I hope to never update Facebook as much as I have lately! I am now married (to one hot lady:), have a dog, live in a well decorated house, exercise regularly, read more, hit the mountains once a week, and love living so close to paradise...the Rocky Mountains.

With all of this change, I take a good amount of moments to pause and reflect on the beauty or surrealness of any given situation. I am hoping to use this blog as a place to share those thoughts and process them myself.

Stay tuned for more and feel free to respond to anything on here.